09/01/2010

GayRomeo4Ever ou comment améliorer votre profil sur un site de rencontres gay

English text hereunder

csd001 Holger Edmaier à la Gay pride de Cologne

                                                              Je découvre cette chanson hilarante de Holger Edmaier qui se décline en sa version allemande originale ou en version anglaise. Holger est un auteur compositeur interprète, un cabaretiste bien connu du public allemand.

Vous avez placé un profil sur un site de rencontres et  avez des problèmes pour obtenir des rendez-vous? Pourquoi ne pas améliorer votre profil? Holger Edmaier vous suggère toute une série de trucs (mensongers) qui vous permettront de mieux scorer. Il s'agit d'une chanson satirique sur la vie gay moderne que toute personne qui a un profil sur un de ces sites comprendra aisément.

Si l'humour est garanti, le résultat ne l'est (hélas) pas, quoi qu'en dise Holger.

Having trouble getting dates? Why not pimp your profile? Here are some handy hints from Holger Edmaier for creating a profile that will get you results. A satirical take on modern gay life that anyone with a profile will appreciate. Guaranteed!

Version anglaise

Les paroles de la chanson (merci à l'Auteur de nous les avoir envoyées!)

my profile on gayromeo was sadly dull and boring
a passport-photo-son-in-law - a face quite worth ignoring
and noone clicked or messaged me - for who I really am
I changed some minor stats and stuff - and look what happend then!

Now I am wrinklefree - thanks to photoshop - I'm gorgeous there's no doubt
and thank to inflating functions I'm with belly or without

I'm also shorter and broader . I've even got a chin
And thanks to romeo I know: I am Schwarzeneggers twin

I'm almost 3 years younger and completely smoothly shaved
and if you ask about my festish – well, I really misbehaved

watch me in leather and high heels and socks that seek of sweat
And if you ask me very nicely, I don't mind getting wet

I am a pervert, a sex slave, romantic to a fault
I'm unhibited, a master, take it with a grain of salt

I am the hottest pornstar ever - I'm the biggest of them all
And I really can't believe that I used to be so small

I'm irresistable, love 3-ways - but not this week I fear
because my mailbox is full (ha!) the line forms at the rear

I don't do clubs and bars - that's killing time - I never find a match
I'd rather stay online - from dusk till dawn - to see what I can catch

Bi bi bi bisexual - never held that much appeal
because I couldn't get it up when I hear sopranos sqeal

Let's verify the data: I'm beautiful, I'm sexy, wild and hot
I'm also kinky and buffer - so give me your best shot

My dick gets longer - by the minute - check out my gallery
Oh, these profiles are the best - It's like cosmetic surgery

I set "safer sex" to "always" - I can always change it back
If he's a drop dead gorgeous slut - I'll be glad to cut some slack

I never go out - it's so strenuous – I’d rather troll the net
And when the guys read my stats, well they don't play hard to get

It's muscles only, with XL and younger you'll agree
And when he knocks upon my door you'll see: He's just like you and me

Lyrics: Holger Edmaier, english translation:  Steve Nobles and Holger Edmaier (tous droits réservés)

Version allemande

Et enfin la version allemande avec sous-titres en français (traduction Têtu.com)

Si vous ne voyez pas les sous-titres, cliquez en bas à gauche de la video sur CC

07:27 Publié dans Humour | Lien permanent | Tags : holger edmaier, gay romeo, site de rencontres, gay | | |  Facebook |

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